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Exclusive: Rejected Marketing Slogans for Mr. Potato Head Elvis Presley

Yesterday, I told you about Elvis Presley Enterprise’s new Mr. Potato Head Elvis Presley. Today, I’ve already started to see the national media sniffing at this story. A couple of the newscasters on television cable news network CNN had a good laugh about it, including photos of the overweight spud bulging out of his jumpsuit. The media always prefers to makes jokes out of Elvis stories, but does Elvis Presley Enterprises really need to make it this easy for them?

Anyway, today, I have an exclusive list of rejected marketing slogans* for Mr. Potato Head Elvis Presley. Here they are:

  • Build Your Dreams On Suspicious Rinds
  • It’s Elvis In Spudway: Smooth, Fast, And No Lumps!
  • Keep Buyin’ Them Taters
  • 50,000,000 Elvis Spuds Can’t Be Wrong
  • Always On Your Rind
  • The Memphis Spud
  • Kids, When Your Potato Has Sideburns, You’d Better Run!
  • Your Lovin’ Teddy Spud!
  • Worse. Than. The. Duck.
  • Elvis: The Complete Mashers
  • Will Work As Food
  • It’s A Hunka’ Hunka’ Burnin’ Mush
  • Elvis Potato Head Today, Elvis’ Golden Fries Tomorrow
  • One For The Money
  • Gentle On Your Rind

By the way, the only way to make Elvis Presley Enterprises stop authorizing these kind of junk products is for Elvis fans to stop buying them. So, avoid the potato, and let your family and friends know that you don’t want it either. Why let them waste their money?

*not really

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A Few Thoughts on Mr. Potato Head Elvis Presley (Conductor’s Reflections #3)

Come on Elvis Presley Enterprises, I know you can do so much better than this: Mr. Potato Head Elvis Presley Figures to Launch in August of 2010.

It’ll just be another way for people to ridicule Elvis. These may work and be fun for characters from fictional universes like Star Wars and Indiana Jones, but not as supposed collectibles of a deceased superstar. These kinds of products do not protect his legacy.

By the way, that is a horrible-looking Elvis impersonator in the promotional image. On the other hand, if you’d simply called it a Mr. Potato Head Elvis Impersonator figure, then I’d be fine with it. And, like all other impersonator-related news, I’d ignore it.

Who buys this stuff?